08 October 2009

HancAquam Poll: Coffee Bowl Browsing

What do you think of Coffee Bowl Browsing?

Great Stuff! Keep it up

Good read, nice distraction

So-so, no big woo

Not really interested

Waste of my time and yours

  

pollcode.com free polls

07 October 2009

Coffee Bowl Browsing (Tabloid Edition)

. . .because life is just not strange enough all by itself. . .

Real lede in a UK tabloid:  "A gay man tried to poison his lesbian neighbours by putting slug pellets into their curry after he was accused of kidnapping their three-legged cat."

Brainwashed Kiddie Troupe Mouths Obamaganda

Local Nudist Apiarists Clean Hive

Angry Women's Group Funds Research into Husband-Telepathy

"She's a bloke!" Toughs Whooped by Muscled Drag Queens

Future U.S. President's Almost Son-in-Law to go Commando in Nudie Mag

Dominican vs. Franciscan Cage Match at Notre Dame!

Big Mouth Expert Says Nuns Won't Change; suspects Zombie infiltration

French Clerics Gettin' Down at Disco Mass; multiple cases of nausea reported by faithful

HR Director called 'Racist' for 'Herding Cats' Comment

Community Organizers Save America from Itself by Tossing GOP Voter Registrations

Giant Pokemon Stomps on Tokoyo; eats own weight in sushi

Alien Supreme Leader's Urgent Request to Earthlings, "Please, change my diaper"

Zombie Clowns Attack Funeral; they only ate the noses

Bothersome Film Maker says Eco-p0rn Not Evil Just Wrong; celebrities wail, gnash teeth

06 October 2009

Questions. . .

Questions. . .

1).  Lots of Catholic bloggers are posting on the Conservative Bible Project What say you?

At a glance, I think this is something of a parody, or maybe someone is tweaking fundamentalist translations/interpretations of the Bible.  Since the Bible is neither conservative nor liberal, I don't know that it makes any sense to edit scripture along conservative political lines.  If a Bible edition is obviously ideologically biased (feminist slant, or fundie evangelical slant), then it would be possible to un-slant the slant by returning to the text.   However, the central difficulty of translating any text is the problem American philosopher, W.V.O. Quine identified as the "indeterminacy of translation thesis."  Simply put:  all translations are necessarily interpretations.  Language by its very nature is culturally bound, so a translator cannot simply transpose words/phrases from one language into another without a remainder.  IOW, something of the original meaning is always lost in the translation.  Catholics have understood this from Day One, thus the absolute necessity of a living body to provide authoritative interpretations rooted in tradition.  We call this body the Church.

[N.B.  Regarding Quine's thesis--Quine argues that since no one translation can be right, all translations are wrong.  This seems a bit fatalistic to me.  I often tell my poetry students that though there is no one right interpretation of a poem, there are billions of wrong ones.]

2).  What do you think of Karen Armstrong's work?

An edited version of my combox response:  I've not read an entire book of hers. What little I've read strikes me the same-old, same-old "I used to Catholic but now I'm educated so I don't believe all that stuff anymore; now I believe all this other religously, vaguely Christian stuff that really highly educated people won't be embarrassed to read about" kind of ex-Catholic. Not impressed.  What I mean here is the Armstrong seems to be one of those ex-Catholic writers who depends quite heavily on her former status as a "devout Catholilc" in order to lend credibility to her attacks on the Church.  As far as these writers go, Armstrong seems to be less bigoted than most.  Armstrong makes all the standard moves:  1). since Catholicism is all about being catholic, i.e., universal, then anything goes for a Catholic; 2) attempts to define/limit what counts as legit Catholicism is really just sexist old men trying to hold on to power; 3). real religious freedom is all about not putting God in a box; 4). the best way to Christian is to put God in a left-liberal, revisionist box. . .ad nau.

3).  Alpha males among the Traditionalists?  Comment?

Yea.  I've met a few.  I could go on all day psychoanalyzing this phenomenon, but let it suffice to say that some in the Traddie movement have adopted the same tactic as our more progressive brethren in their fight to define the faith.  Pick a decade in Church history.  Argue that this decade is the only decade among all the decades of history when the Church Got It All Right.  Demand we all accept this premise.  Excommunicate anyone who disagrees.  This sort also comes with two other quirks:  1). an obsession with oddball devotions and 2). an obsession with apocalyptic scenarios described by obscure eastern European seers.  I've often described these folks as those who accost their pastors with type-written tracts demanding that he consecrate the parish with a monthly recitation of the Novena of the Big Toe of St Joseph, or the whole country will be scourged with a blight of athlete's foot.  I am NOT deriding real traditionalism here.  Far from it.  My aim is to goof on those alpha males in the movement who seem to be--like our feminist brethren--perpetually angry and demanding action from Church authorities to calm their imaginary fears of an impending doomsday.  Common to both camps is a lack of faith in Christ's assurance to his disciples:  "The gates of hell will never prevail against the Church."  All will be well, all manner of things will be well.

4).  Harry Potter, Halloween, and the dangers of paganism?

I've written on this theme many times and I am forthrightly unambiguous in my opposition to anything that smacks of neo-paganism being practiced by Catholics.  Having said that, I see no problem with Harry Potter or Halloween so long as parents take charge of both and ensure that impressionable children understand the difference between fantasy and reality.  My experience working with kids is that the quickest way to get them to do something dangerous is to forbid it.  If your child wants to read the Harry Potter book, let them.  But read along with them and discuss the material.  I don't buy the meme that the books are Christian simply because they pit good against evil.  The only Good Catholics need to call on is Christ and his Church.  But it seems to me easy enough to point this out to a child precocious enough to want to read Rowling's heavy tomes.   Same goes for Halloween.  Explain what the holiday is all about and give it a Christian spin.  This is a time-honored Catholic practice for evangelization.   I often wonder if calls for banning books or holidays among Catholics is really a sublimated desire to forgo responsible parenting.  Children are to learn the faith first from their parents.  The government, the schools, the library cannot take on this responsibility without the child's faith being seriously damaged.

Coffee Bowl Browsing (Zombie Apocalypse Edition)

Coffee Bowl Browsing, wherein we learn that all things may be interpreted through the hermeneutic of the Zombie Apocalypse. . .

The weapon of choice for the Church Militant for fighting the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse (ZA)

Visual guide for appropriate facial expressions at the beginning of the Z.A.

Cuisine for the non-Zombie during the Z.A.

Zombie Theologians of the Z.A. . .they are among us already!

Zombie Bats attack U.S. space program during the Z.A.

Hippos are the natural predator of the Zombie

Tip #4,783 for surviving the Z.A.:  Zombies can't drive on the snow.

Another tip for surviving the Z.A.:  Zombies are easily confused--defend your home by redecorating (#329).

Using nature's weapons to fight the Z.A. . .remember:  Zombies are clumsy.

Mutant Zombie Midgets do not make good babysitters

Don't be fooled!  Even our toys and candy will be infected during the Z.A.

If you think piranhas are dangerous. . .wait 'til you meet Zombie Fish!

An idea for recycling all those Zombie bodies


Books still on the No-Show List

Earlier in the summer I noted which books from the WISH LIST had arrived recently. I noted that the books shown below had not arrived in the U.S. They weren't here in Rome either. So, either they got lost in the mail, or maybe someone just used the list to buy these books for themselves...which is perfectly fine, btw! I just don't want anyone thinking I failed to send a Thank You note. (I'm still behind on one or two notes...so don't think me a clod just yet...).



5.
Product Image
Elementary Christian Metaphysics: Philosophy (Irish in America) by Joseph Owens (Author)
$24.00$20.72 28 Used & New from $5.00
5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
In Stock. Offered by Amazon.com.

Added 3 months ago.
“keepin me grounded in Aquinas...USED is OK with me...”
Quantity Received: 2
Priority: high



6.
Product Image
The Shaky Game (Science and Its Conceptual Foundations series) by Arthur Fine (Author)
$25.00 17 Used & New from $13.50
3.5 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
In Stock. Offered by Amazon.com.

Added 3 months ago.
“essential reading for my thesis/diss...U​SED is OK with me...”
Quantity Received: 1
Priority: high



7.
Product Image
Modern Physics and Ancient Faith by Stephen M Barr (Author)
$20.00$14.40 40 Used & New from $8.94
4.4 out of 5 stars See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
In Stock. Offered by Amazon.com.

Added 4 months ago.
“one of my fav columnists from First Things”
Quantity Received: 1
Priority: high



8.
Product Image
The Two Wings of Catholic Thought: Essays on Fides Et Ratio by David R. Foster (Editor), Joseph W. Koterski (Editor)
$19.95 11 Used & New from $18.56
5.0 out of 5 stars See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
In Stock. Offered by Amazon.com.

Added 5 months ago.
Quantity Received: 2



The Adventures of an Itinerant Friar

It was 3am in Houston on a Sunday, and I couldn't sleep.  Up and at 'em!  Packing took all of an hour. 

When I got the downtown airport shuttle in Houston Sunday afternoon, it was raining.  The driver dropped us off at Terminal C.  My flight left from Terminal D.  Unfortunately, the Instantaneous Teleporter Devices were not working so I had do make the trip to D the old-fashioned way:  by train, elevator, escalator, and on foot.  Let the copious sweating begin!

And it did.  Thirty-minutes later I arrived at D.

No problems at the ticket-counter.  Security is always a hassel b/c I travel with a CPAP machine and a laptop.  Both have to be removed from carrying cases for inspection.  I've discovered that if you smile and say lots of friendly things to the TSA folks, the process is painless. 

Got to departure my gate to discover that D at IAH has only one restaurant and one newstand, so spent lots of time reading my novel.  As the time for departure rolled around, I noticed that the waiting area near the gate wasn't all that crowded.  Always a good sign.  Sure enough, the flight was only 2/3 full.  I got a row of seats to myself!

The flight was a bit bumpy over Canada and Ireland.  Nothing to cause a panic though.  We arrived at Heathrow about 40 minutes early. . .so early, in fact, that we couldn't taxi to a gate.  They sent a bus for us.  Since I was in the last row of the plane, I made it on the third bus. . .this process took almost 90 minutes.

Once inside Heathrow, we were herded around like livestock.  I was reminded of the 1970's sci-fi movie, Soylent Green.  During a street riot scene in the movie, police use a troop carrier with a giant scoop on the front to lift rioters into the bed of the truck.  They are unceremoniously hauled off to God Knows Where.  Later we learn that the gov't uses dead human bodies to produce a food substance called "soylent green."  The main character of the movie discovers this secret and starts shouting, "Soylent green is people!"  I suppressed the urge to follow his example.

Heathrow employees are an efficient lot.  But you get the impression that their polite efficiency is deeply rooted in a fascistic desire for control.  The British ladies in uniform issue curt, demanding orders.  You have the sense that disobedience will be met with disapproving glares, if not shots to the gut with cattle-prods.  We are inspected, stampled, digitally photographed, and sorted into even more lines.

Three of these  long lines and several processing stations later, I rush to the gate and check-in five minutes before we are due to leave.  Of course, the flight is full.  By this point in my adventure I have been awake for about 18 hours.  My disposition is not improved by the young woman who decides to carry on a standing two hour conversation with a colleague right next to my seat.  At one point, I doze off and let loose a roaring, snoring snort!  The young woman jumps, gives me a dirty look, and returns to her seat.  Though entirely accidental, I am delighted that my rude exclamation drives her away.

Once we get to Rome, things become far more relaxed.  Viva a Roma!  Few lines.  No officious British ladies herding us with their polite yet irresistible commands.  No urge to denounce secret governmental culinary conspiracies.  There's a taxi waiting for me and a longish ride to home.  Waiting for me here are my room, my bed, a stack of books, my two boxes, and a bunch of friars who seem genuinely happy to see me again.  My exhaustion, dehydration, hunger, and irritation lead me straight to bed where I pass out for six hours. 

I awoke this morning to the two sounds that mean "Rome" to me:  tolling church bells and squawkinig sea-gulls.  Now, the truly odious part of my adventure begins:  unpacking.

BUT I'm in Rome again.  And the coffee is very, very good.

05 October 2009

Roma

I made it to Rome. Heathrow has now joined that short list of Airports I Will Never Use Again!

Explanations tomorrow. . .

Thanks for all the prayers!

04 October 2009

Ciao, Houston! Ciao, Roma!

I am off to the airport soon for my flight to London. . .from there it's on to Roma. I'll be arriving in Rome around 7.00am Monday (Central).

Please pray for a safe flight.

My thanks to all 205 FOLLOWERS. . .especially the three who put us over the 200 mark.

Check back Tuesday morning for updates. . .and probably some comments on the trip.

Ciao and God bless, Fr. Philip

The meaning of itineracy (in miles)

For someone who hates to travel, I've done a lot of it between June & October:

Rome to St Louis: 5,078
St Louis to Memphis: 314
Memphis to St Louis: 314
St Louis to Dallas: 630
Dallas to Memphis: 491
Memphis to Dallas: 491
Dallas to Houston: 251
Houston to Rome: 5, 708

Total: 12,647 miles (as the crow flies)

The Last Coffee Cup Browsing!

This is the last "Coffee Cup Browsing." Come Tuesday, we will return to "Coffee Bowl Browsing"!

And, yes. . .I have to pack this morning, so I'm procrastinating.

Dirty car art

Don't judge my hair! I am especially taken with the Tragic Mullet/Waves Crashing on Rocks couple.

Another Very Good Reason not to tailgate.

This Bible probably belonged to a Catholic.

I thought about getting a tattoo once. . .one of those Charles Kuralt "Sunday Morning on CBS" sunbursts.

For Moms of hooligans everywhere: it could be worse!

Redneck solutions
to everyday problems, or Wal-Mart is not always the answer

Ummmmmm, yea. . .I'll be over by the sandbox. . .you go ahead.

Two-headed sorority girl. . .no, really, she/they have two heads! Which raises the theological question: what if one head wants to be baptized a Catholic and the other wants to be a Muslim?

Catholic-kissing circa 1952. . .Leaving room for the Holy Spirit since 1 A.D.!

One true thing spoken through a telephone on a planet far away. . .

More Redneck Solutions: ladder edition

The Zombie Apocalypse and 2012

Got in one last Redneck Movie yesterday--Zombieland. Very funny. The language is what you would expect from an American R-rated film. Lots of blood and gore. But the point of the movie is not the cursing or the zombie killing (does one kill a zombie?). It's about needing and finding family in the aftermath of a crisis--in this case: the Zombie Apocalypse.

The previews reminded me to post something on the cyber-chatter about our global demise predicted to happen on December 21, 2012. Apparently, someone figured out how to read an ancient Mayan calendar-stone. The Mayans believed in a cosmic creation/destruction cycle of 12,000 years (if I remember correctly these are called "kelpic cycles," or is that a Hindu thing?). Anyway, the last day on the stone is Dec. 21, 2012.

Coincidentally, astronomers are telling us that there will be a planetary alignment on that date. All the planets in the solar system will line up with the sun and this will cause unprecedented climate and geological upheaval on earth. There's even a movie coming out about all this called, you guessed it, 2012.

As you might imagine, there are hundreds of websites confirming, denying, debunking, and debunking the debunking. Gotta love the net! Here are some of my thoughts on this prediction:

1). Is it possible that the Mayan calendar-stone has been mistranslated and/or misinterpreted? I mean, are there any ancient Mayans around to confirm the text?

2). If the text has been correctly translated and interpreted, why assume that the last day on the calendar indicates the last day for our world? The calendar on my wall ends on December 31, 2009, but I don't assume that Time ends just because my calendar does.

3). Like most ancient cultures, the Mayans had no conceptual means of distinguishing between their scientific practices and their religious beliefs. Why assume that their scientific calendar (which is quite accurate astronomically) is anything but a spiritual device; that is, the cosmic creation/destruction scenario might be spiritual in nature rather than material.

4). And even if the calendar indicates a cycle of material creation/destruction, there's no good reason to believe that the Mayans' belief in such a cycle is correct. People have believed and still believe in all sorts of demonstrably false theories about just about everything. Did you know that there is a very serious group of folks who belong to the Flat Earth Society?

5). And what if the Mayans were correct about the whole cosmic cycle-thing and the world will end on Dec 21, 2012? Well, you better get right with Jesus.

Christians, remember: Jesus said, "No one knows the day of my coming but the Father." No sense is getting all twitchy about dates. I will, however, go see the movie. Looks very, very Redneck.

03 October 2009

Translating Italian into American

Headline: Big protest in Rome to protest blah-blah-blah, or something. . .

Translation: four day weekend for Rome's unionized "workers" and traffic headaches for everyone else.

Explanation: protests in Rome are about as common as uneven cobblestones on the Via Nazionale and just as annoying.

But not nearly as annoying as the helicopters that buzz the Birthday Cake from 10am to 4pm during the protests.

I attended a "peoples' party" protest one time last year. The ubiquity of cell phones, designers fashions, and jewelry evident among the protesters tells you all you need to know about the just how allied these frauds are with The People.

Childlike Wisdom

26th Week OT (S): Readings
Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP
Holy Rosary Priory, Houston

What's so difficult about believing and teaching that Christ is our only means of salvation? Why do some Catholics flinch when the Church authoritatively asserts: “. . .it must be firmly believed that, in the mystery of Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Son of God, who is 'the way, the truth, and the life' the full revelation of divine truth is given. . .Only the revelation of Jesus Christ, therefore, 'introduces into our history a universal and ultimate truth which stirs the human mind to ceaseless effort'. . .It must therefore be firmly believed as a truth of Catholic faith that the universal salvific will of the One and Triune God is offered and accomplished once for all in the mystery of the incarnation, death, and resurrection of the Son of God”? This passage is from Dominus Iesus (2000), a document of the CDF written by Cardinal Ratzinger, a document that we were assured in seminary would be found “on the trash heap of history in ten years.” Why would any Catholic think that the reassertion of the Church's 2,000 year old teaching on Christ's unique and final sacrifice for our salvation would be trash in just ten years? Jesus says, “. . .although you have hidden these [truths] from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike.” For us, the difference between being “wise and learned” and being “childlike” is the willingness to be taught wisdom.

Do we need to belabor the obvious point that being “childlike” is not the same as being “childish”? No? Good. Do we need to hash out the idea that avoiding the traps of being “wise and learned” does not mean we must be “foolish and stupid”? No? Good. We do need to spend a little time noting why Jesus distinguishes the wise and learned from the childlike? And why this difference matters to the contemporary Catholic when confronted by those who would have us reject the truths reasserted by Dominus Iesus. Essentially, Jesus is distinguishing for us the difference between “knowing that” and “trusting that,” the difference between knowledge and faith. In the contemporary sense of the word, “knowledge” is understood to be truth derived from publicly available evidence—facts, information, self-evident principles. Trust, on the other hand, is all about the strength of one's confidence in another to fulfill expectations; the reliance on another person's ability and willingness to deliver on his promises. We know mathematical and scientific truths as facts; we trust family and friends as reliable keepers of our hopes. The wise and learned of Jesus' day trusted in their knowledge, making them fools in matters in faith. Christians are vowed to believe in and act on the movement of the Holy Spirit in our hearts and minds, the fierce wind of Divine Love who plays our foolishness like a toy. Trusting perfectly in God, we know Him as the only way, the only truth, the only life for us and for everyone else as well.

As Dominus Iesus makes clear, it is the “everyone else as well” that causes the wise and learned in the Church to reject the unique and final role Christ in our salvation. The claim that Jesus is the way to salvation is arrogant, imperialistic, exclusive, and ultimately dangerous in a multicultural world. How dare we say that Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, etc. will be excluded from heaven! Fortunately, Dominus Iesus says no such thing. What Jesus teaches and this document reasserts is that if Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, etc. find themselves in heaven, it is the incarnation, passion, and resurrection of Christ that brings them there. Not the Buddha. Not Mohammed. Not Krishna. But Christ and him alone. Christ's sacrifice has universal effect. His offer of salvation is fully and truly catholic. No one is excluded. For any reason. But to be invited to the feast is not the same as accepting the invitation. What the wise and learned who would reject today's gospel teaching would have us teach instead is that everyone, anyone can be brought to the feast whether they want to be brought or not. That is not the freedom Christ paid for on the cross.

The only reliable teacher of Christian wisdom is faith—the unfailing, unbending trust that a child invests in his parents. We trust, we hope that all to whom Christ has revealed the Father will come into His Kingdom. Jesus says to his childlike disciples: “Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.” What they see is the Word Made Flesh for the salvation of the whole world.

02 October 2009

@#$% posteitaliane! (UPDATE)

I just discovered that two large boxes of books I shipped to Rome back in June have been sitting in the local posteitaliane office, waiting for me to come pay the customs duty. If they have not already been shipped back to the U.S., they will be very soon.

Last summer, they delivered five boxes of books to the front door of the university with no customs charge.

Go figure. Maybe our postman developed a hernia over the summer?

UPDATE: Due to the charitable hard work of Fr. Albert Glade, OP in Rome, my boxes were retrieved before being shipped back to the U.S. He also gave me a money-saving tip: write "used personal books" on the customs declaration rather than "books." The things you learn.

No Olympics for Chicago. . .

If you care about the Olympics--I don't--you will have likely heard that despite B.O.'s promotional tour, Chicago was eliminated in the first round picks.

Drudge links to the Trib with: "Obama + Michelle x Oprah = ZERO"

Too bad, really. Getting the jobs and revenue that the Olympics bring would be great. I guess that given the corruption and cronyism that rots Chicago, maybe the selection cmte decided to use their funds for the actual event rather than to line the pockets of Chi-town politicians.

Stay tune for B.O.'s apology. . .

UPDATE: reading around the news sites, it looks like the meme to explain this disappointment will be: Chicago has had too much negative press lately--beating death of that 16 y.o. kid, political scandal, etc. No one has accused the I.O.C. of racism yet. . .