29 April 2012

Sweating for Jesus, or My Kingdom for a Hankie!

St. Paul was given a "thorn in his flesh" to keep him humble.  We all have something that reminds us we are mortal.

Mine is sweating.  Not just a healthy sheen of sweat but rivers of perspiration running down my collar.  If you've ever attended a Mass where I celebrated, you've seen me wiping my brow every fifteen seconds or so.

Most who witness my thorn in action assume that all these excess pounds I carry around cause this unsightly problem.  Not so.  When I was 190lbs. at 18, I could sweat through a McDonald's uniform in twenty minutes flat.  Being overweight doesn't help the problem but it doesn't cause it either.  Nor am I nervous about public speaking. My cardiologist tells me that high blood pressure can exasperate the problem, but years of HBP meds haven't helped the sweating.

I've tried everything known to the gods and science--medical, herbal, mechanical, and spiritual.  The only thing I haven't tried and will not try is surgery.  Too dangerous and expensive.

I'm going to give science one more try before I submit to my thorn and offer up my sufferings.  Just ordered a box of SweatBlock.  

Since I know you are all sitting on the edge of your seats, hyperventilating in anticipation of how this stuff works, I'll keep you posted. 

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  1. I've never heard of surgery to alleviate sweating. What kind of surgery would they do for that?

  2. http://www.sweaty-palms.com/detailsofsurgery.html

  3. Fr Phillip, you live in New Orleans, humidity there is 110% no wonder you have the thorn. Move to Colorado, it'll solve your problem in about 3 days, humidity here is 10%.

  4. Gregg the Obscure3:48 PM

    Well Fr. Philip, something else we have in common. Except I live in dry Colorado and still sweat like a stuck pig during the hot months of the year (April to October or so).

  5. Anonymous1:53 PM

    I for one sweat in the palms a lot...as matter of fact, I peeled both a car's steering wheel and a shift knob because of it...in my case, as the years go by and I get (a little bit) less anxious, I've been suffering less of it...