22 February 2012

5 Things To Do With Your Ashes

Go git dem ashes!!!

And here's five things you can do once you Get Yours:

1).  Carefully cover your ashen cross with a big piece of clear packing tape so that it doesn't smear during the day.

2).  Use Elmer's Glue to outline your ashes and then sprinkle it liberally with glitter.

3).  Add two more ashen crosses on each side of the original and tell everyone you're fasting for the two pagans in your in family.

4).   Keep a small container of ashes in your pocket.  When someone says, "Hey, you got a little dirt on your forehead," whip out the ashes and Give Them Theirs before they can flee.

5).  Wash them off. . .you know, like Jesus tells us to do in today's gospel.  

Happy Fasting, folks!


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  1. Anonymous7:20 AM

    Since I should not change my appearance, I guess I should not receive the ashes. I agree with you that it is hypocritical of the church to distribure them!

  2. Anon., interesting leaps in. . .um. . .logic?

  3. Anonymous8:02 AM

    "When you pray,
    do not be like the hypocrites,
    who love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on street corners
    so that others may see them.
    Amen, I say to you,
    they have received their reward.
    But when you pray, go to your inner room"
    -- I will be staying away from church, too. Thanks for the advice, Father!

  4. Anon., you're welcomed! And your choice.

  5. RnotAmused1:49 PM

    Interesting to watch the Selective Fundamentalism that Anon shared with you.

    I wonder how s/he feels about Matthew 5..."If your right eye causes you to offend, tear it out and if your right hand causes you to offend, cut it off, for it is better to enter into life maimed than go to hell whole." I'm paraphrasing, but you get the point.

    Reminds me of the Selective Fundamentalism of American bishops and other social justice types who read "Welcome the stranger" in the Old Testament and are sure that it means supporting massive illegal immigration.