20 November 2008

A Parable about Booze, Pot & Condoms

Justin, a 16 year old Catholic high school junior, comes home from football practice one day and tells his dad that he finally asked Mary Kay out for a date on Saturday night. His father is very happy and gives his son $100 to spend on the date.

Saturday night comes and dad waits and waits and waits for Justin and Mary Kay to come home. Finally, around 1.00am Justin walks in the front door, drunk, smelling of pot, and his clothes in disarray.

Dad confronts Justin, "Son, what have you been doing?! You spent the $100 I gave you on booze, weed, and condoms?!" Justin, slurring his words and swaying rather dramatically said, "Not all of it. I gave $20 to a homeless man outside the liquor store. The rest went to the liquor store, my dealer, and the drug store."

Dad, a grant manager for the diocese's CCHD, responded, "Oh OK. That's good. You're off the hook then b/c you didn't spend the whole $100 on party favors. I can tell your mom that at least 20% of the money we gave you went for a good cause. Here's $200 for next time. Give the homeless guy $40."

Lesson: don't fall for the excuse: "Well, CCHD does some good with my donation so that mitigates any potential evil that might slip in."

Always remember this when dealing with questions of Doing Evil to Get Good Results: "You cannot draw a pail of pure water from a poisoned well."


  1. ooooo I LOVE mini sermons!!

    I'm gonna give you a big ol Baptist


    (I know, I'm not Baptist either)


  2. It reminds me of he Bishop of Aguascalientes (Mexico) when, about two years ago, it was known by the public media that he had accepted charitable donations and tithes (yup) from known Cartel druglords in some occasions such as baptism, quinceaƱeras, weddings, etc.
    When Televisa, the mexican TV network interviewed him he replied that "Because it was for a good cause, the Lord washed the money from its former sinful use" so he could accept it in good concience.

    He was called to Rome by the nuncio after that incident, the Mexican TV was quick to report.

  3. just wanted to thank you for today.

    having 4 hours of Fr Philip Homilies on the ipod made the dental trip much more enjoyable. :-)

  4. Soooooo, I put you to sleep? :-)

  5. Amen.

    That is why my envelope contained a letter to the diocese. Although, my priest trumped me, as he should and always does. He expressed similar sentiments in the bulletin and the ushers never did get around to that second collection.

  6. Fr Philip, I only WISH you'd put me to sleep! but you did give me something much better to ponder than whether or not the hygeinists bangs were obstructing her vision to the point I was gonna be missing a chuck of tooth when she was done.