Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP
Our Lady of the Rosary, NOLA
I
was seventeen when I first heard the call to priesthood. And I wasn't
even Catholic at the time! For the second seventeen years of my life
I answered God's call with “Maybe” and “Not Yet.” I used an
array of excuses and dodges. I need to finish college. Then, I need
to finish my Masters. Then, I need to finish my doctorate. All the
while I was playing around with all sorts of spiritually dangerous
ideas and practices, and not in the least bit interested in hearing
anything God had to say to me. I went to my Episcopal parish off and
on, and basically just managed to stay right out on the edge of the
faith. Joining the Church in 1996, I revisited my vocation and
decided to give it a whirl. The order I applied to rejected me in the
summer of 1998. Not too long after that, I got an internal staph
infection that went undiagnosed for three months and came within a
few days of dying. That woke me up, and I got serious. I entered the
Dominican novitiate in 1999, and I've never looked back. When Jesus
hears our excuses, our delaying tactics, even our good reasons for
not following him, he says things like, “Let the dead bury the
dead. But you, [you] go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
So,
yes, I spent seventeen years dodging God's call to priesthood. My
excuses/dodges/good reasons all sounded excellent at the time. I did
need to finish my studies. I wasn't yet ready to fully embrace chaste
celibacy. My parents weren't keen on me being Catholic. My set of
university-educated, politically-progressive friends hated the
Church. There were a few things the Church teaches that I couldn't
yet accept. I was living the typical life of a impoverished
twenty-something grad student, which means I managed to stay alive in
the fall semester by stealing fried chicken and liquor from the
tailgaters in the Grove at Ole Miss home games. Don't ask how I made
it in the spring. And I was still too much of a hard-headed,
big-mouthed, and cynical redneck to let anyone tell me what to do or
believe. So, yeah, it took seventeen years and almost dying from an
undiagnosed staph infection to get me to shut up and sit down long
enough to actually listen to what Christ was saying to me. I finally
heard him, “Let the dead bury the dead. But you, [you] go and
proclaim the kingdom of God.” No more excuses. No more dodges. No
more “good reasons.” Put your hand to the plow, and don't look
back.
So,
Jesus is walking the countryside, preaching the Good News. He comes
across a guy and says to him, “Follow me.” What does the guy say
in return? “Lord, let me go first and bury my father.” A
perfectly good reason to delay following Christ. Burying the dead,
especially your dead parents, is an ancient obligation, one blessed
by countless generations of families. This guy didn't say he wanted
to finish his workday and get paid; or that he needed a shower and a
clean change of clothes; he didn't say that he wanted to discern for
a few years and attend some retreats first, or consult with his
spiritual director. He wanted to bury his dead father! Knowing the
urgency of the Father's Good News, and knowing how many hearts and
minds longed to be turned back to God, Jesus says, “Let the dead
bury the dead. But you, [you] go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
What did the man do? Did he drop everything and follow Christ,
leaving his father unburied? We don't know. Maybe we aren't supposed
to know b/c “that guy” is you and me. Luke doesn't tell us how he
responded b/c you and I are still responding. We are still answering
(or not answering) Christ's invitation to follow him. You are That
Guy. How do you answer Christ?
While
you're considering your answer, think about this. Christ was not
indiscriminate about who he invited to follow him. While he walked
the earth preaching and teaching, he selected his close followers for
personal instruction. Think of the Twelve. He chose them all by name
to become his ambassadors to the world. He stood in front of
thousands in his three years among us, and only occasionally to a
very few did he say, “Follow me.” The universal call to
discipleship and holiness comes after the Holy Spirit's visit at
Pentecost. Only after Christ ascends into heaven does everyone
receive the invitation, “Follow me.” While he was still among us,
he carefully chose whom to invite. That Guy – the one with the dead
and unburied father – wasn't just some random guy randomly chosen.
Jesus knew him. Heart and soul, Jesus knew him. And he knows each one
of us. The universal call to discipleship and holiness is directed at
each one of us in the Church AND to the whole world. Jesus knows each
one of us b/c we have died with him and we have been buried with him
and we will be raised with him on the last day. We are members of his
body, the Church. We have been chosen and invited. And so, he says to
us, all of us, “[Anyone] who sets a hand to the plow and looks to
what was left behind is [not] fit for the kingdom of God.”
If
we will be fit for the kingdom of God, we will not look to what we
have left behind. Leave it behind where it belongs. Whatever “it”
is. Leave the excuses, the bad decisions, the terrible mistakes, even
the deliberate acts of vengeance and violence; leave the angry
self-accusations, the guilt and the shame, all the junk that gathers
around you when you wallow in sin. Leave it all. And plow forward. Go
and proclaim the kingdom of God. Why not? You aren't smart enough.
You aren't articulate enough. You're shy. You're afraid that people
will think you are weird. Your family and friends will be
embarrassed. You'll lose long-lasting relationships. You might lose
your job. People will stare. What? You need to go bury your dead
father? Let the dead bury the dead. When I entered the novitiate in
1999, I lost more than half of my friends and former grad school
colleagues. By 2010, I had lost my two best friends of 24 years. When
I say “lost,” I don't mean that they died. I mean that they cut
me out of their lives b/c they hate the Church. My family – thank
God – didn't turn away. Though they still look at me like I'm some
sort of circus monkey with a bad perm.
What
and who are you willing to lose to follow Christ? You might not lose
anyone or anything but your sins and those who encourage sin. You
might not leave behind much at all. Or, you might have to leave
everything and everyone behind. The decision to follow Christ is the
decision to make him Master of your heart and mind. That means
putting aside whatever or whoever else rules you. It means stepping
off into another world of freedom, peace, forgiveness, and mercy. And
it means giving to others anything that you have received from Him.
You
have plow. Now, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.
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Matheus - you might want to listen to this one. It preached even better than it read! :-)
ReplyDeleteI did; it preached fine and much better than the other one, but it's still meant to be read.
Delete(I had posted this comment along with the one below...Blogger's built-in combox is weird)
[blushing]. . .thanks! No one laughed at the "circus monkey" line!
ReplyDeleteI chuckled - it wasn't really laugh-out-loud funny, but more deserving of an eyes-closed, head shaking, quiet, sigh-of-a-chuckle, combined with an "Oh, Father . . . !"
DeleteBut to me it definitely read like a very sincere and personal "coda" to the homily and not at all like a joke...like the "serious" moments in the stand-up we're supposed to relate to and disarm us to laugh a second later.
Delete