23 November 2014

First World Problem: my shopping entropy field

Anyone who's ever been shopping with me knows that I project an entropy field -- an area of energy that draws wacky customers, wackier cashiers, and causes machinery to break.

Yesterday, I went to WalMart to pick up a few things. I noticed that the register in the electronics department had one customer who was in the process of paying. . .so, I got behind her, thinking that I'd avoid the long lines at the front of the store. Little did I know that Ms Early Christmas Shopper was going to pay for her haul with cash, four gift cards, and a credit card. 

She received her receipt, checked it thoroughly, and then announced that she needed to pay for an item in lay-a-away. She spent a good five minutes digging around in her enormous purse looking for the paperwork. She paid -- again with an assortment of cards, cash, and coupons. 

FINALLY! She's done. No. The cashier stepped away from the register, looked at me sympathetically, and said, "I have to go in the back to get her lay-a-away. Be back in a sec." I nodded and walked to the front.

At the front, I got in the 20 Items or Less [sic] line behind a couple who were in the process of paying. They had eight items. And used six debit cards to pay! Each card was rejected a couple of times b/c the woman kept putting in the wrong PIN code for the card. Then the machine rebelled and wouldn't work. The cashier got it running again. . .and they had to start over. 

When this circus finally concluded, I dropped my items on the scanner. Just then, a manager walks up and begin changing out the cash drawer while chatting casually with the cashier. They hooted and giggled and talked about their upcoming lunch break, etc. The drawer swapped out, the cashier decides that she needs some change, so we have to wait for the manager to go get another drawer to make change.

By this time, I'd been waiting to check out twice as long as it took me to find my items.

Nine out of ten times, this is how my shopping experiences go. Penance for a multitude of sins, no doubt. 

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  1. awwww Father. Next time ask a brother to do the shopping for ya, LOL

    1. They would buy fat-free, non-gluten generic shampoo and toothpaste.