11 November 2013

An Exercise in Style

Here's how I'm torturing. . .ermmm. . .teaching my pre-theologians a few in lessons in style. . .

1. Take a reasonably complex sentence:

"From this intimacy with the faithful God, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, Moses drew strength and determination for his intercession" (CCC, 2577).

2. Then, under each word identify its part of speech. . .  

From   this        intimacy  with    the      faithful  God. . .
Prep    Pronoun Noun       Prep   Article  Adj        Noun

3. Then delete the original sentence, leaving the parts of speech. . .

Prep    Pronoun Noun       Prep   Article  Adj        Noun

4. And rewrite the sentence, using different words that match the parts of speech:

Inside that despair underneath a wasting pain. . .

The idea is to learn how different writers use words to shape their style. A good grasp of grammar -- something woefully missing in our public education these days -- helps a writer/preacher form a recognizable writing signature. The ultimate goal is to help them break out of their Style Ruts so that they can write homilies written "for the ear."
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10 comments:

  1. Fun (to imagine other people doing)!

    You can further constrain it: Paul's grammar and Blake's vocabulary. Newman's grammar and Ogden Nash's vocabulary. Bl. JPII's grammar and Pynchon's vocabulary.

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    1. Oh yes, there are lots of variations. Right now, I'm just focused on getting them to recognize the parts of speech. A few classes ago, we took passages from famous short stories and rewrote them in the style of another short story. . .Francis Macomber in the style of Barn Burning, etc.

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  2. That is incredibly cruel, I think I'll borrow it for Drew :-). . . What do you have them do when there is an infinitive, pray tell?

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    1. They treat the grammatical elements as well. . .not just diction, so an infinitive will be replaced with an infinitive.

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  3. I hope you are also teaching them to diagram sentences. A much maligned but nevertheless a very useful skill.

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    1. Oddly, local Catholic schools still teach diagramming!

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  4. In the example given above, from the Catechism, isn't "this" being used adjectivally, rather than pronounally? Else, were you just Mad-Libs-ing it, your substitution sentence could read "Inside him despair..."

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    1. Robert, you're right. . .good catch. And good suggestion for a substitution as well. Thanks.

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  5. Anonymous2:33 PM

    Sentence Composing for Elementary School: A Worktext to Build Better Sentences by Don and Jenny Killgallon uses a similar method, only their source sentences come from children's literature. They have several books in the series; this was the one that seemed the right level for my child.
    So if they complain, you can tell them it is a recognized pedagogical method : )

    Marie

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    1. Oddly, Marie, they seem to be enjoying it. I like the arguments about what fits the pattern and what doesn't.

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