NB. For me, writing is thinking. . .meaning, I don't know exactly what I think until I start writing. This homily is an example of what happens when I trust my process. . .and run out of time for editing/revising. Oh well.
St. Andrew Kim
Gain the world and lose your soul! Obviously, a bad bargain. But many make this bargain everyday. In small ways and large, we all go to this negotiating table daily and haggle over the details. Whether the sticking point is to sneak a twenty out of the till at work or sell dirty bombs to terrorists; to lie in an uncomfortable social situation or cheat on one's spouse, we are – consciously or not – forming the vice of putting ourselves near an occasion of sin. The impulse to cultivate this bad habit is at once social, cultural, psychological, physiological, and spiritual; that is, it's human. We want, and we are motivated to acquire. Jesus knows this better than anyone. So, he says, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” What better way to lose the world and gain your soul than to follow the One who gives his life for the eternal life of the world? How do we do this? We have to notice something fundamental here: the way Jesus carefully balances on the line btw the personal/universal, btw the subjective/objective. I must deny MYSELF. But I still have to pick up MY cross. Having denied myself and picked up my cross, I must follow him. Even after denying myself, there's still a personal cross for me to carry while following him. I'm not carrying your cross or his cross. I'm carrying my own cross. But I'm carrying it beside you and your cross in line behind Christ. Each one of us is bearing his/her unique cross behind a universal savior. And we're doing it side-by-side in the universal Church. The crosses we bear are both a burden to suffer and the way we participate in our own redemption. IOW, The Cross is the altar upon which Sin is crucified – once for all. My cross is the altar upon which my sin is crucified – repeatedly for me. But – my cross and your cross only works for the crucifixion of our sins b/c Sin itself was crucified on The Cross. When we do all this denying, carrying, suffering well, we're bearing witness to the power of the Father to liberate us from our sins and bring us more fully into His divine life. That's martyrdom. That's bearing witness. So, we show the world that we are both wounded and healed, fallen and lifted up, lost and found. That we are both sinful and forgiven, unlovable yet loved by Love Himself.