The B.O. Answer to the iPad

Can't afford an iPad?  No worries.  Congress just rammed through a $17.89 bazillion project to provide all Americans--including the dead, illegal aliens, and those guilty of felonies--with the oBamaPad:

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Summer Classes at U.D. update

Also, update on my 2010 summer teaching schedule at the University of Dallas:

The English dept. has asked me to teach a senior seminar on American literature. . .this is the course I normally teach for them.  

With the kind permission of the theology dept., we're dropping Understanding the Bible from the summer term schedule and adding American Lit.  

American Lit, Mon-Thurs 4-6pm (senior seminar covering major writers from N. Hawthorne to C. McCarthy)

Religion and Science, Mon-Thurs 6-8pm (senior seminar/grad covering the historical and philosophical relationship between western Christianity and western science)

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Scuba Becky update

Talked to Scuba Becky (a.k.a. my mother) yesterday.  She has rec'd no official word on her biopsy results; however, a nurse in her doctor's office told her that if anything had been found, the doc would have called immediately.

So, looks like the biopsy was negative. 

Funny aside:  while talking to mom on the phone, I could hear the O2 tank making this wheezy, popping sound.  I started snickering, thinking of my new nickname for mom.  Shhhh...don't tell her.

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Gomez to L.A.!

This is H.U.G.E.!!!

Rocco of Whispers in the Loggia is reporting that Archbishop Jose Gomez of San Antonio is going to be appt'ed coadjutor-archbishop of Los Angeles!

This means that when Cardinal Mahony begins his much-deserved retirement in less than a year, Archbishop Gomez will take up the reins of a archdiocese in desperate need of reform, starting with the Religious Education Conference/Circus and moving right on to the dismal condition of seminary education/formation.

Archbishop Gomez is an Opus Dei numerary.  And I imagine that the idea that BXVI is going to give one of the Church's largest, wealthiest, and most influential liberal archdioceses to an Opus Dei bishop is going to send the NCR/America/Commonweal/LCWR-types into fits.  

Gomez is only 58, so he will have a long, long, long tenure in L.A. 

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Choosy Medieval Philosopher-theologians choose Kindle

A HancAquam reader sent this to me:

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Coffee Bowl Browsing

Someone get his teleprompter back:  B.O. rambles for 17 minutes trying. . .futilely. . .to answer some poor woman's question about how his health care boondoggle is going to raise taxes.  Here's a surprise. . .I'd ramble on in my homilies if I didn't use a text.

The very definition of cheekiness:  Archbishop Rowan Williams accusing someone else (anyone else!) of having a credibility problem as a Christian leader.  Update:  His Gracious Fuzziness has since apologized for the remark. 

Spoiling the "Tea Partiers are a bunch of GOP racist" soup:  one of the recently arrested militiamen is a registered Democrat.  Also, 40% of the Tea Partiers are Dems/Independents.  Now that's really gonna mess with the narrative!

I'm a terrible speller.  Grammar is not really my thing.  And I frequently mispronounce words.  But punctuation is most definitely my forte (pronounced exactly like "fort," btw not "for-tay.")* Check out some of the up and coming punctuation marks--the irony mark and the interrobang.  An argument can be made that the internet/cell texting have made emoticons more useful than traditional punctuation marks. 

I want a hand-held version of this baby!  Would be most useful in walking around Rome. . .Italians have this thing about parking themselves in the middle of the sidewalk and chatting as if no one else were around. 

A decision tree that helps you answer the question:  it's touched the floor, do I eat it anyway?

A series of motivational posters.  My fav:  "Teamwork:  with a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults." 

I'm ashamed to admit it. . .I laughed at this.  It's both funny and vaguely sacrilegious.

Perfect Man & Perfect Woman pick up Santa Claus on the side of the road.  They get into an accident.  Who survives?

A slightly different take on the origin and use of the Easter Island monuments.

* "Forte" is French in origin but pronounced "for-tay" in Italian if you mean to describe musical emphasis, i.e., "strong," or "forceful." 

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Dark clouds and the rise of our only hope

Standing through the cloister window that looks south out over the Coliseum this morning, I watch a long line of dark clouds move over the city.   The most prominent angels of the Angelicum--the squawky sea-gulls--squabble over nesting rights and a few church bells ring out to wake those still asleep.

Clouds over Rome on the Resurrection of the Lord.  How fitting.  Bickering birds instead of angel's choirs.  Perfect.  For a few, quick moments I felt a cold, weighty melancholy squeeze my Easter joy. Would today be a day to get through, a day to merely endure with fingers crossed?  

The WeatherBug reports that it will rain.  Great.

At Mass this morning, I sit in my accustomed place.  Near the altar and across from a huge Renaissance-style fresco of Christ leaving the tomb.  During moments of silence, I look up at the triumphant Lord and back down at his emptied grave.  Some of the people in the fresco--the Mary's, soldiers, servants, angels--watch him rise.  Some with joy.  Some with knowing contemplation.  Some with fear and hatred.

These figures, I decide, represent quite nicely the diversity of contemporary reactions to the Resurrection.  Some greet Easter with joy; some with expectant silence; others with fear and loathing.  For repentant sinners, the Resurrection means life everlasting.  Joy comes naturally.  For those who see the Gospel as an unwelcomed restraint on their passions, their choices, the Resurrection is a unmitigated disaster.  Now, because Christ is risen, their choices have consequences beyond this impermanent world.  That they fear this revelation is their own choice.

I hear bells ringing all over the city.  The rain keeps the bickering birds under cover.  In churches here in Rome and the world over, faithful Christians are gathering despite the fear the world hopes to spark in their hearts.  Fear is easy.  Hope is hard.

Christ is risen.  The only hope for creation is risen.  He is risen indeed!

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Strife, deceit, and malice: media motivations & the Church

(NB.  Welcome Commonweal Blog readers!  And my thanks to Fr. Joe "Spirit of Vatican Two" O'Leary for all the extra traffic.  Joe's intolerance of any opinion that contradicts his personal magisterium is legendary in the blogosphere. . .as predictable as sunrise!)

I had a longish post dissecting the secular media's treatment of the Holy Father and the abuse scandals.

Then I remembered Romans 1:28-30 and decided that Paul describes it best:

"They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed, and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant, and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil."

Faithful Catholics, remember and never forget:  the war against the Devil is won.  Always has been.  Our victory over evil is not a future event, something yet to come.  The war is won.   This doesn't mean that there aren't battles to fight now and to come.  It means that we fight best when we fight knowing that victory is ours already.

Media attacks on the Holy Father are designed to do one thing and one thing only:  demoralize the faithful into surrendering hope, thus giving less faithful Catholics the excuse they want to abandon the Church's unwavering teaching on difficult moral issues.  Don't believe for one second that this latest onslaught of hyperventilating media self-righteousness* is anything but an attempt to throw mud on the Holy Father during Holy Week and Easter.  Just when the Pope is most visible to the world as preacher and teacher of the Gospel, suddenly--SUDDENLY!--the media discover documents long in the public domain and use them to score ideological points.  As SNL's Church Lady used to says, "How convenient. . ."

Now, to be absolutely clear:  the media's nefarious motivations do not excuse the Church and her leaders from the guilt of sexual abuse and cover-up. Nothing excuses the sexual abuse of a minor.  Nothing excuses covering these abuses up.  Calling the media to journalistic responsibility in the reporting of facts is not an ecclesial strategy for dodging blame or distracting attention.  No one in the Vatican or the Church at large is denying that minors were abused by clergy and that bishops sometimes worked overtime to hush these abuses up.  The only thing the Church is asking of the press is for them to do their jobs and report the facts.  Not speculation.  Not sensationalistic gossip or one-sided accusations from victims' lawyers.

That's not too much to ask.

*Why describe the media as self-righteousness?  The same media outlets that wail and claw at their faces, mourning the evils of sexual abuse are the same outlets that regularly tell us that there is nothing morally wrong with poisoning children in the womb and scraping their scalded bodies out with forceps.  It's hard to take their lamentations about sexual abuse seriously when they turn a deaf ear to children who are killed by their mothers and doctors.

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The Kindle: to buy, or not to buy?

Thoughts on the Kindle. . .???

Anyone out there use a Kindle for reading texts in electronic form?

I've been thinking of asking for one for my birthday.  I travel a lot in the summers and carrying around boxes of books for research/fun is just not possible.  Kindle-style texts are cheaper than books, so there's money to be saved over the long run.

Since I'm not a Gadget Guy, my concerns about the Kindle are mostly about how easy it is to use.  My poetically structured brain has zero interest in the intricacies of how the thing works or how its tech-wizardry can be improved by endless tweaking.

Does it work?  Is it easy to use?  Is it more convenient than a paper book?  Does it save money?

Thoughts. . .suggestions for alternatives. . .arguments for/against?

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What the papal preacher did not preach. . .

The papal preacher did N.O.T. say that the Church's current problems are comparable to the historical persecution of the Jews in terms of severity, duration, or malice.

He quoted a Jewish friend of his who said that anti-Catholic prejudice results from the same sort of stereotyping--tarring the whole group with the sins of a few members of the group--that often leads to anti-Semitic violence.

IOW, he is talking about the underlying mob mentality that frees the dark hatreds of individuals and supplies apparently plausible reasons for violence against the hated group.

He NEVER says that the Pope or the Church is enduring the exactly the same kind of violence that Jews have suffered historically or currently. 

Of course, this won't stop the Professional Victims Groups from seizing on the occasion to shudder in faux indignation and spend the weekend pretending to cringe away from the uber-violent Catholic Church.

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Communion at St. Peter's

A Good Friday first for me. . .I will be distributing communion at St. Peter's Basilica this afternoon!

I usually avoid Vatican liturgies b/c the crowds are enormous and transportation, etc. is a nightmare.

But the opportunity came along, so. . .here we go!

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Politics in the confessional

Q:  Father, I recently went to confession and told my pastor about harboring uncharitable thoughts about a prominent politician.  I told him that these thoughts had become more frequent since Congress passed health care reform.  My pastor spent about five minutes of our time in the confessional trying to convince me that the reforms were good.  It was a political speech not spiritual counsel.  I left feeling manipulated.  Did my pastor abuse the sacrament by taking time to try and change my mind about a political issue?  How do I approach him about my feelings on this?  He is often combative when criticized face-to-face, so I'm reluctant to confront him that way.

A:  Yes, he did abuse the sacrament.  Regardless of what your pastor might think about ObamaCare, using time in the confessional to push an overtly political agenda is tantamount to abuse of the sacrament.  I would say the same thing if your pastor tried to convince you that ObamaCare is a bad thing.  The sacrament of reconciliation is about the confession of sins, repentance, penance, and absolution.  There is no time or place in the Box for being politically harangued by a priest.  

If you are afraid of talking to him face-to-face, I would suggest a hand-written letter telling him how you perceived his behavior in the Box.  Don't accuse or belittle; don't argue or quote canon law; don't cite popes or councils.  A priest who abuses the sacraments for his own agenda will not respond well to anyone quoting authoritative texts.  Just tell him in plain language how his speech made you feel.  If you are up to, offer to meet with him to discuss the matter.  And request in the letter that he acknowledge your concerns in writing.  Make a copy of your letter before sending it.  Why a copy?  If he continues to use the confessional as a political soapbox it might be necessary to contact the bishop.  You need a paper trail.  Don't go to the bishop without contacting your pastor first.  Give him a chance to explain himself.  He might feel awful about the whole thing and apologize.  If you jump straight to the bishop, your pastor might become defensive and angry.  Also, if you have to contact the bishop, keep in mind:  dealing with problems coming out of the confessional is tough b/c of the seal.  Don't expect a dramatic resolution.  If nothing is done at all, find another confessor.

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Coffee Bowl Browsing

Much like they pushed a mythical consensus on global-warming science, the media are now pushing the notion that there is an academic consensus on the constitutionality of the individual mandates in ObamaCare.   There is no such consensus.  And there are plenty of top-notch law professors available to argue publicly that ObamaCare is unconstitutional. . .despite the media's unwillingness to interview them on the subject.

This is a great time for the FCC to die. . .especially with B.O. rubbing his censorious hands and MAWAHAHAHA'ing over the nefarious possibilities available to him by putting control of the internet into the hands of his political appointees.

The renewable energy found in the rainbows unicorns trail about them. . .hilarious video!

Extremist threats of violence, or patriotic dissent?  Well, depends on who's sleeping in the White House.

The lawyers for clerical abuse victims know perfectly well that the Holy Father, as a head of state, enjoys immunity from prosecution in the U.S.  So, why are they trying to bag BXVI as a defendant?  They know that if they try, the Vatican will have to point his His Holiness' immunity, thus making it look as though the Pope has something to hide.

Dorothy Parker's poetic insights on the inconveniences of suicide.

Wouldn't a traffic light be more efficient and less likely to cause blisters?

When vegetable condiments go wild!  Remind me not to visit my dad's garden this summer. . .

A giraffe successfully divides by zero. . .and immediately regrets it.

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Why did Christ die on a wooden cross?

Love the internet!  I was planning on doing something similar to this, but Taylor Marshall did the footwork for us. . .

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Seven Reasons Why Christ Died on a Wooden Cross

First, Augustine observed that crucifixion is not only painful, it is painful and public. The public nature of Christ's death inspires us to face death heroically.

Second, Augustine observed that since Adam brought death through a tree, it was fitting that the New Adam destroy death by hanging on a tree.

Third, John Chrysostom and Theophylact observed that by being lifted up on the cross, Christ sanctified the air.

Fourth, Athanasius observed that by being lifted up on the cross, Christ shows that He has prepared the ascent into Heaven.

Fifth, Gregory of Nyssa observed that the shape of the cross was fitting for because it extends in the four directions and is therefore universal. Also, Athanasius wrote that the one outstretched arm sanctified the those in the past and the other arm as outstretched to the future. So we have both a spacial and temporal universality signified in the crucifixion.

Sixth, Augustine says the parts of the cross signifies the following:

* Breadth – This pertains to Christ’s hands and thus "good works"

* Length – This pertains to the upright nature of a tree and thus "longanimity".

* Height – This pertains to the top and Christ’s head and “the good hope” of the faithful.

* Base – The base is the root and it is hidden, thus it signifies “grace”.

Seventh, Augustine observes that wood is salutary in the Old Covenant. Wood saved Noah in the Flood. Moses divided the sea with a wooden rod; purified water with wood, and brought forth water with his wooden rod. Also, the Ark of the Covenant was made of wood.

I adapted these seven reasons for the wooden cross of Christ from Saint Thomas Aquinas III q. 46, a. 4.

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Literary parallelisms in the bible are highly instructive.  The Church has long taught that the New Covenant is the fulfillment of the Old Covenant.  It stands to reason then that the biblical texts that reveal the covenants would contain numerous parallelisms for us to use in deepening our understanding of God's Self-revelation.  For example, we are familiar with the parallels drawn between the roles of Eve and Mary in our fall and redemption, respectively; between the wood and purpose of Noah's Ark and the wood and purpose of the Cross; between the blood of the sacrifical lamb in the temple and the blood of the sacrificial Lamb of God; and between the cleansing power of the flood and the cleansing power of baptism.  Such parallels were the stock and trade of Patristic preaching and teaching.

Compared to the often overly scientifically and nit-picking historical-critical method of interpreting scripture, the literary method of the Fathers is obviously superior.  This is not to say that the H-C method is worthless. . .just surprisingly sterile when used to produce a homily.

What are your favorite parallelisms in scripture?

NB.  When you visit Taylor's blog, please note the pic he uses at the top of the page:  Dominican friars at table.  Like I always say, "Never trust a skinny Dominican."  ;-)

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Voting in the U.K. general elections

The Telegraph's Catholic blogger, Damien Thompson, links to a nifty online guide that helps U.K. voters in matching their political positions with the major parties for the upcoming general elections.

I used the guide and discovered that my political views match the U.K. Independence Party 67% of the time and the Conservative Party 36% of the time.  Since I had never heard of the UKIP, I looked them up, read their platform, and concluded that I would indeed vote for the UKIP candidates in my district if I were a subject of Her Majesty and eligible to vote.

Now, I am freely admitting this piece of personal info in near-complete ignorance of the British political landscape.  For all I know, the UKIP may be some sort of horrible fringe movement.  I know that the British Nationalist Party verges on the execrable.  Voting Labour is out of the question and there seems to be no real difference btw Labour and the Liberal Democrats. 

The attraction of the UKIP for me is their strong opposition to the E.U.'s interference in the U.K.'s national sovereignty.  If the UKIP's assertions about the E.U.'s encroachment on the sovereignty of member states is accurate, then European nations are doomed to becoming little more than American-style states under the control of a federal European bureaucracy managed by hard-line, anti-Christian leftists.  It's the Roman Empire all over again without its legendary religious tolerance and local control.  For example, according to the UKIP material, a German gov't minister notes that fully 80% of Germany's laws are enacted in Brussels not Berlin.  He asks the pertinent question:  what's the point of a German parliament?

An anecdote:  back in 2004 an English friar told us at table one night that Brussels had recently decreed that bananas imported into the E.U. must not be curved; IOW, only straightened bananas could be imported.  Why?  Because curved bananas resembled bicycle tires when packaged and this confused customs officials.  The moral of the story?  When you create a bureaucracy to manage a problem, the bureaucracy will eventually begin inventing problems in order to justify its own existence.  Sound familiar?

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Coffee Bowl Browsing

Why do right-wing militia wing-nuts always look like they are products of the shallowest end of the gene pool?

Over-reactionary theological development:  Calvinism vs. Hall Mark Christianity.  Um, may I suggest orthodox Catholicism as a viable alternative?  BTW, I know a lot of Catholic Calvinists. . .unfortunately.

LCWR get their thirty pieces of silver from Planned Parenthood.  Tell us again, sisters, why the Vatican's apostolic visitation and the theological assessment aren't necessary?

Corporate execs are disclosing how much money they are paying out in response to ObamaCare.  This has riled the Dems, so the execs are being sent to the woodshed by the Dem majority.  Can anyone say "intimidation to shut up about the real costs of ScaryCare"?  I knew that you could.

Redneck siege engine using someone's hapless girlfriend as ammo.

I'm not even going to try to explain this pic.  Captions invited.

Texas hangover cure, or an ad for Uncle Festus' Guaranteed Hair Regrow Potion and Scalp Wax.

Yes, there really is such a thing. . .I've seen it at Wal-Mart.

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A difficult decision. . .(UPDATED)

If you have been reading this blog for the last two years, you know that I have been struggling with how my vocation as a priest is properly expressed in the Dominican tradition.  

Though I am a life-long student and I love preaching. . .it's becoming clearer and clearer to me that my priestly vocation is being smothered as a Dominican.  In a nutshell, I don't have to be a priest in order to be a philosophy professor.  If my future in the Order is to minister as a member of a university faculty, then it will be necessary for me to move away from the Order and seek out a ministry that will allow me to both BE a priest and to DO priestly things.

Therefore, I have decided to seek exclaustration from the Order and return immediately to the U.S. where I will begin looking for a diocese that needs my vocation as a priest.

This has been a difficult two years of discernment.  Please keep me in your prayers!

UPDATE:  lots of email and comments on this post!  There seems to be some confusion about the nature of exclaustration.  I would encourage you to click on the link above for an explanation.

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Walking back from class. . .

Adventures to and from the Piazza Navona. . .

Stopped by a German couple looking for the Termini.  They anxiously refused to ride the bus.  Thinking about the complex, nearly chaotic layout of Roman streets, and despairing for my sanity and theirs in trying to explain to them how to get to the Termini, I settled on the time-honored Roman method of giving directions:  I pointed straight ahead with great authority and smiled real big.  

A young woman approached me speaking Italian so fast my face got windburned.  She was decked out in the latest teen fashions--jeans, ski jacket, expensive shades, etc.  I asked her if she spoke English.  She glared at me menacingly and spoke one word:  "Money."  I barked a laugh and walked off.  

A middle-aged man approached me, speaking Italian.  He asked if I lived at the Angelicum.  I said yes.  Then he started asking me rapid-fire questions about the Order, informing me that he was wanting to join an American province.  I asked me if he spoke English.  He smiled and switched to a heavily accented Mexican-English.  Turns out that he is a philosophy professor in Mexico City and wants to join the Southern Province!  We exchanged info and parted friends.

So, wearing the habit on the streets of Rome can have its pluses and minuses. 

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Very sad that my French classes are over. . .(yea right)

Dancing around my pig sty and singing:

French is done! 

French is done!  

French is done! 

OK.  Not very original.  But what it lacks in creativity, it makes up for in enthusiasm.  

WooHooWooHooWooHoo!!!!!

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Coffee Bowl Browsing (Late Morning Edition)

I worked at McDonald's for a couple of summers when I was in high school.  We never had anything like this happen to us.  People seem to be losing their minds!

Predictable:  Old Media play up fake violence against Dems; ignore the only arrest for a real threat of violence--against a GOP Congressman.

Bishop preaches:  stand up to the odious NYT!

The Old Media continue to lose viewers:  this explains why they continue to reprint/rebroadcast W.H. and DNC talking points and call it news. . .the only people watching/reading the ones who wrote the talking points!

A complete list of B.O.'s promises and their expiration dates. 

Race-hustler, Al Sharpton, told to put up or shut up about the Tea Partiers shouting the n-word at the Congressional Black Caucus.  

On the delusions of an Episcopal dinosaur:  John Shelby Spong gets everything wrong.

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