2nd Sunday of Easter
Thomas, called Didymus, has a problem. It's problem just about every Christian or potential Christian who's lived since the Resurrection has encountered. We can call this problem Doubt. Or, better yet, Denial: “I will not believe until I have physical, verifiable evidence.” Generally, this is a problem about believing the supernatural claims of the faith: the virgin birth, various miracles – healings, water to wine, raising the dead –, casting out demons, the Resurrection, etc. More specifically, in the case of Thomas, it's a problem about believing that his fellow disciples have seen the Risen Lord in the flesh post-Resurrection. Thomas does not believe that the other disciples actually witnessed Christ appear among them. He not only doesn't believe them, he also flatly says, “I will not believe until I put hands into his wounds.” We can imagine the reactions of the other disciples. Are we that untrustworthy? Is he accusing us of lying? Maybe he thinks we're delusional! Whatever they may have thought about Thomas' denial of their witness, Thomas himself is adamant: I will not believe! Taking his denial at face value, Thomas is the first modern Man. How do we respond to the Thomases we encounter every day?
Now, it could be that Thomas is overcome by grief. Or anger. His disbelief, at this stage of mourning, could be a response to losing his teacher and friend. He wasn't there for the revelation of Christ in the flesh. His outburst is just an overly emotional reaction to missing out on the reunion. Perfectly understandable. But his denial seems more serious than that. He has to know that his fellow disciples are hearing him say: “I don't believe you. I don't believe you are telling the truth. You're lying.” Grief or no grief, they can't be happy with him, and he knows it. Christ has established his mission on the power of testimony; that is, the entire project of preaching the Good News depends on the ability of his followers to bear witness to his life and works. To tell the world about how Christ has changed their lives by bringing them into right relationship with divine love. By denying Christ's appearance among the disciples, Thomas is rejecting the very means of building the Church that Christ himself proclaimed. Thomas is the modern person standing against the Gospel-witness of the Church, demanding empirical evidence for her claims. How do we respond to our own Thomases?
Christ responds to Thomas by appearing again – in the wounded, post-resurrection flesh. He invites Thomas to touch his wounds and says, “...do not be unbelieving, but believe.” Is this an option for us? Can we invite our Thomases to touch Christ's wounds and believe? Well, not exactly like Christ does in the Gospel, but we can bear witness to our own wounds and the healing Christ gives us. We can show our Thomas the brokenness we offered to Christ. We can show him our despair, our pride, our envy. We can show him the times we chose against love and mercy and how Christ's love and mercy brought us out of darkness into the light. We can show him how we have been betrayed, rejected, ignored, and silenced. How we stood in the crowd on Palm Sunday, cheering him on, and then screamed for his death on Good Friday. How we deny him when we deny the least of his. We can invite him into our doubts and denials and show him how – in the larger divine plan – our demands for proof fall short. We can even confess to smaller and larger betrayals of Christ in our sin. And then bear witness to the forgiveness we receive when we confess. At rock bottom, all we can do for our Thomases is show them Christ as we've lived with him. From there, it's the HS's mission to bring about a conversion of heart.
That's what we can do for the Thomases we encounter. What if we ourselves are a Thomas? It happens. Maybe no one here is a Thomas all the time...but there are times when believing is a battle. We're asked to believe a host of incredible things. The historical, physical reality of the Resurrection is perhaps the most incredible. But I'm willing to bet that if we experience doubts or express denials, it's not about the Big Dogmatic Stuff. It's about the smaller stuff – have I really forgiven him/her? Am I really forgiven? Is the HS really guiding me? Am I doing everything I need to do to get to heaven? Does God really hear my prayers? When these doubts and denials pop up – and they will! – remember God's mercy. We're not here to provide entertainment for the HT. We're not playing a cosmic game. We are given a purpose – to freely return to God in love. We are given everything we need to make that happen. Whatever happens here – good, bad, ugly – contributes to our progress toward perfection in Christ. And all of it is fueled by divine mercy. He knows our doubts. He says, “Do not be unbelieving but believe.”
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