08 July 2012

Audio file for homily: 14th Sun OT

Recorded today's homily at the 5.30pm Mass. . .

An amazing lack of faith?
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An amazing lack of faith?

14th Sunday OT
Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP
St. Dominic Church, NOLA

Audio File Download

We have just heard read one of the most disturbing sentences found in the New Testament. Left unexplained, this sentence could undermine the legitimacy of the Church, cause irreparable harm to the faith of billions, and hand our enemies the spiritual equivalent of nuclear bomb. This astonishing sentence is almost casually presented, composed with a dangerous indifference to how it might damage Christ's credibility among his future followers—those like us—who will read it and be tempted to despair. That we have not succumb to despair, that the faith of billions has not been harmed, that Christ's credibility has not been damaged is a testament to our ancestors in religion, the men and women who wrestled courageously through the centuries with the demons of doubt, worry, and spiritual cowardice. Mark tells us that Jesus goes home, and he is rejected as a prophet by his hometown neighbors. They doubt his power by questioning his credentials, “Isn't this guy just a local boy?” And they were offended. “So,” Mark casually writes, “[Jesus] was not able to perform any mighty deed there. . .” The Son of God, the Messiah, was not able to bring his Father's mighty power, His reconciling mercy to Nazareth! The Christ is rendered powerless to perform might deeds in his own hometown. 

How does Jesus react to this failure? Mark tells us, “He was amazed at their lack of faith.” That's a charitable description of how the hometown folks greeted their native son. Jesus goes to the synagogue and teaches his Father's Word. Those who hear him teach are astonished by the power and authority of his teaching. But rather than open their hearts and minds to the truth of the good news, they allow Jesus' familiarity, the fact that he is homegrown to confuse their judgment. They recognize his power—“What mighty deeds are wrought by his hands!”—yet they cannot see the hand of the Father through the fog of their contempt. Instead of obeying—listening to—the Word proclaimed with divine authority, they choose to doubt, “Where did this man get all this? Is he not the carpenter, the son of Mary, and the brother of James and are not his sisters here with us?” And b/c they choose to be offended rather than enlightened, they cannot trust; they cannot receive the gift of God's mercy and so no mighty deeds can be accomplished. The Nazareans in the synagogue are astonished by Jesus' teaching and Jesus is amazed by their lack of faith. Despite all the astonishment and amazement flying around, without faith, mighty deeds cannot be done. 

Does it seem somehow wrong to you to say that Jesus is rendered powerless by those who doubt him? What sort of god can be stripped of his power to perform miracles by a doubting crowd? All this sounds too much like the myths of ancient Greece where the gods were only as powerful as their worshipers' faith. When the followers of Zeus lost their faith, Zeus' power began to fade. If Jesus is truly the Son of the everliving God, then his power comes to him in virtue of who he is not by way of the faithful. What authority do we mere humans have to render him powerless? The answer: none, none whatsoever. Our faith or lack of faith in no way affects God's ability to do what He wills. However, as our loving Father, He wills that we come to Him in love and not by force. He pours out His love, mercy, hope, all that we need to come to Him freely, but we must come freely. He gives us His love. We freely receive His love. And then, His love is a gift. And it is only a gift when we freely receive it. In other words, for mighty deeds to be accomplished in our lives, we must believe in and place our trust in the promises He has made to us as our loving Father. Doubt, fear, worry, any sort of disobedience, tempts us to suspicion and short circuits our faith. How do we cooperate with God's grace while doubting, fearing, worrying about whether or not He loves us and cares for us? 

We don't; we can't. . .cooperate with God's grace, that is, while worrying, etc. If I had to define doubt, fear, and worry, I'd say that these are spiritual anxieties, diseases of the soul bought on by a lack of faith in God, by the absence of the good habit of trusting that God has fulfilled His promises. When we fail to practice a virtue—a good habit—we tend to find ourselves indulging in a vice—a bad habit. What does the vicious habit of failing to trust in God look like? We could point out our sins, our acts of disobedience—the big lie, the small theft, the vicious gossip, the lustful look. We could also point out all the things we have failed to do—a work of mercy, a hurt left unforgiven, a falsehood left unchallenged. We could also point out the absence of blessings in our lives: where are my friends? My family? My loving neighbors? Any one of these or all of them might show us what the vicious habit of unfaithfulness looks like. But these are just symptoms of a more insidious problem, mere indications that something much deeper is profoundly wrong. What lies beneath our sins, our omissions? 

 We are tempted to say, “Well, it's a lack of faith!” OK. But faith itself is a gift, the technical term is “infused virtue.” God infuses in us from the instant of our conception the good habit of trusting in Him. We are gifted with the ability to trust Him even before we are born. So, how do we end up lacking in something that's bonded to our DNA? We don't. We can't. We can no more remove faith from who we are as persons than we can recode our DNA at will to become crawfish or dinosaurs. When Mark notes that Jesus is “amazed at their lack of faith,” he means that Jesus is stunned by their unwillingness to cooperate, to work with the gift of faith that his Father has given to them. Jesus' friends and neighbors have faith as a matter of being human; they are simply unwilling to set aside their pride and work with the seed of trust already planted in their hearts. What lies beneath their stubbornness, urging them toward vicious suspicion, is the Enemy whispering, “You don't need faith; you just need a little sweat and some old-fashioned determination, and you can live your life just as you please. You can have it all on your own. You don't need God. In fact, here's a little secret: you can become a god without God!” That whisper echoes down to us from the Garden and it sounds very much like the hissing of a serpent. 

You can become a god without God. All you need is enough money, enough influence, enough power, enough celebrity, enough freedom from your created nature. . .and voila!. . .you're a god, a being beyond the merely human, beyond the mewling herd. And all this transformation will cost you is your soul and along with you soul goes your personhood, your humanity, and your place in the holy family as an adopted child of God. Why do we sometimes find it so difficult, even repellant, to cooperate with God's gift of faith? Because when we cooperate with His graces, we freely accept that everything we have and everything we are is a gift from Him and we are thus totally and irrevocably dependent on Him. We call that dependence humility—the good habit of knowing that and acting on the truth that we are dust, from our origin to our end, we are dust. BUT! We are dust gifted with the freedom to believe and trust in our Creator. And when we believe and trust in our Creator, mighty deeds are accomplished in His Name and for His greater glory. 
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07 July 2012

You eat, you go home!

 I swear. . .



. . .I've never been to this place!
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Bringing to mind all that is missing

13th Week OT (S)
Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP
St. Dominic Church, NOLA

John's disciples find Jesus and ask him, “Why do we and the Pharisees fast much, but your disciples do not fast?” Good question. I wonder why they want to know. Are John's disciples looking for a teacher who's not dragging his students through the desert and serving them nothing to locusts and honey? Or maybe they're disguising a spirit of prideful competition with a question about discipline? Team John is more disciplined than Team Jesus, so tell: why are your players so spiritually lazy, Jesus? Or maybe, and probably, they simply want to know more about Jesus' understanding of how and why we fast. Whatever their motivations for asking the question, Jesus does what he always does when asked to explain himself. He doesn't. Instead, he takes the question as an opportunity to push the questioner further along and under and shows him what lies at the bottom of his query. What lies at the bottom of this question about fasting? From Jesus' response, we can see that there is a connection btw fasting and mourning, a link of btw feasting and living. There is no need for the wedding guests to fast while the groom is still with them. We feast while he's with us, and we fast after he's gone. 

If it is true that we feast while Christ is with us, and we fast after he's gone, then what do we do if he is both with us and not with us? The Church has thrived for centuries w/o Christ walking and talking among us. We live in the days after his death, resurrection, and ascension. So, we fast in mourning. However, b/c Christ sent us the Holy Spirit and established his Church, we know that he is always with us, whenever and wherever two or more are gathered in his Name. So, we feast in celebration. Being faithful citizens of New Orleans, we understand all-too-well the connection btw living and feasting. We do both quite well! What better way to give God thanks for His generous gift of human life than to tuck into some jambalaya, biscuits, and bread pudding? But what is the link btw fasting and mourning? One of the most memorable culinary events in the life of a family occurs at a funeral. We eat at funerals as if carbs and sugar will dry up our tears and bring the dead back to life. The line that Jesus draws btw the fast and the funeral seems a bit twisted if not downright knotted up. It helps to remember that both fasting and mourning brings to mind all that is missing

Bringing to mind all that is missing for Christians is about more than mere remembering. Memorials are common markers for noting people and events. We memorialize war heroes, literary giants, athletes. Photo albums, keepsakes, tombstones bring to mind both the living and the dead. For the disciples of Christ, fasting brings to mind both Christ's presence and his absence; both his life and his death. When we fast, we recognize—thing about again—our dependence on God, our adoption as His children through Christ. And we remember—become members again—of his Body, the Church. When we fast from food, we fast for a memory and that memory is made present, made real. When we fast from whatever it is we are fasting from, we fast for a reason, a purpose and that reason is to mourn, to lament the absence of all that is missing. Christ is not with us, so we fast. Yet, he is always with us, so we feast. We cycle through the year fasting and feasting, remembering and recognizing that he is gone, he is here, and he will be among us again. At the bottom of the question about fasting lies humility—our absolute dependence on God. Without Him, there would be no feasting at all. 

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06 July 2012

You're a sinner? Welcome to the Church!

13th Week OT (F)
Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP
St. Dominic Church, NOLA

I trace the call to priesthood back to 1981 during a high school trip to Mexico. The road I took to the Dominicans and ordination was long, pot-holed, twisted, and plagued by dangerous temptations and even more dangerous choices. Allowing the romance and idealism of youth to overwhelm good sense, I ran that road with my eyes closed and my mouth open. Though never doubting my vocation, I often and intensely resisted God's not-so-gentle prodding toward priesthood. Among the reasons for delaying the decision for 17 years was my obvious unworthiness for the office. There's no need for details, but let's just say that my life before the Dominicans would have made the young Augustine blush and the soldier Ignatius flinch. Very little about who I was back then indicated that God could use me to serve His people as a Dominican friar and priest. I imagine that the tax-collector, Matthew feels much the same way when Jesus comes along and says, “Follow me.” And I imagine that most of you jump a little when Jesus says, “Hey you, sinner! Come on, we've got work to do!” You want to resist. Rattle off your sins. Tell him how unworthy you are. How dumb or inarticulate or shy you are. He knows all that already. My advice: just go. He's not going to stop calling just b/c you won't answer. 

One way of looking at the Church is to see her as a collection of those who are called to serve in spite of their obvious unworthiness. The Church is a hospital for the sick not a spa for the healthy. In fact, we're Christians because we're also sinners. Coming to Mass is hardly scandalous behavior even though all you people are sinners! Jesus himself socializes with sinners and gets called out for doing so. What's the big deal? Sick people need healing, so Jesus is going where he's needed. But when Jesus eats with prostitutes and tax-collectors, he's doing more than just scandalizing the self-righteous scribes; he's making himself—a rabbi—ritually unclean. More to the point, Jesus is sacrificing his standing as a ritually clean teacher of the Law so that he might reach those who most need to hear word of his Father's mercy. When the scribes object to his ministry in the messy lives of these sinners, Jesus says, “Go and learn the meaning of the words, I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” What God wants from us is for us to give His mercy the use of our bodies here on earth. Our words, deeds, thoughts—all from each of us. And that's our sacrifice: to set aside our doubts and worries about being worthy of Christ and just follow Christ! 

But, Father, I'm not very smart. I'm not in a state of grace. I'm not good with words. People don't like me. I'm too shy. And Jesus answers, using the favorite word of my teenage nieces, “Whatever.” OK. So, you're a dumb, shy, inarticulate and unlikeable sinner. Peter denied even knowing Jesus. Matthew was a traitor to his people by collecting taxes for the Romans. Paul killed Christians as heretics. Judas sold Christ to his enemies. And the whole lot of disciples ran like rabbits and hid when their beloved teacher was executed. So, whatever, dumb, shy, inarticulate, and unlikeable sinner. Welcome to the Church. Now, get to work! That's our sacrifice: give up sinning AND give up using our sins as an excuse not to do what we have been called to do. Jesus was willing to sacrifice his religious standing as a rabbi in order to bring God's word of mercy to the dredges of Judea. Can we find the courage to sacrifice our excuses for not being bodies for God's mercy? Forgiven sinners should be the first to shout to the rafters: we're forgiven, all of us are forgiven! 
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Coffee Cup Browsing

Nuns on a Bus received funding from atheist Soros.  Keep up the great P.R., sisters!

Another fake "hate crime."  It's time to repeal these laws against UnGood Think.

John XXIII was not the revolutionary that Cafeteria Catholics think he was.

Priorities: CA circles the economic bowl, SanFran Dem proposes law to further weaken the family.

What the Court decision on ObamaCare did and did not say is constitutional.  Excellent. 

Wait!  I thought the Catholic Church was the enemy of science and medicine?

To wit:  a report from the Modern Science/Ancient Faith Conference.

Some good news about priests:  The 10 Most Amazing Priests!

Nine recent violations of our religious liberties. Remember: even when they lose, they win. Making the faith seem "extreme" is a slow process.  Every attempt is a win for the Enemy.

Woman who thanked B.O. for ObamaCare was a plant.  Figures.

10 suggestions for Catholic evangelization via social media.

On the need for clear distinctions:  liberation theology and the newly appointed chief of the CDF.  

Man Candles: a review.  Having an uber-sensitive nose, I'm a fragrance freak.  Maybe I need to look into these candles.  Do they make them votive-sized?
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05 July 2012

Smash the Scale!!!

I didn't weigh in yesterday.  Decided to suspend the Wednesday weigh-ins for a couple of weeks while I adjust to a lower carb diet.  Nothing drastic!  Just cutting a few servings of bread, pasta, etc.

Maybe in two weeks I can climb on The Scale and be surprised.

Fr. Philip, OP
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Are you an intercessor?

13th Week OT (Th)
Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP
St. Dominic Church, NOLA

The folks in the crowd are struck with awe when Jesus says to the paralytic, “Rise, pick up your stretcher, and go home," and he does! Matthew tells us that the crowd “glorified God who had given such authority to men.” As praiseworthy as this demonstration of divine authority is, there's something else going on in this story that deserves more attention than it usually gets, something that we might just breeze over in a hurry to get to Jesus' confrontation with the scandalized scribes. What moves Jesus to heal the paralyzed man? Is it the man's obvious faith? No. Is it Jesus' compassion for his disability? Nope. Matthew tells us that Jesus entered the town, “and there people brought to him a paralytic lying on a stretcher. When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, 'Courage, child, your sins are forgiven.'” Our Lord is moved to heal the man's paralysis because the people who brought him to be healed believe in and trust in Jesus' authority to forgive the man's sins and restore him to wholeness. We aren't told whether or not the man himself is faithful. Whether he is or isn't doesn't seem to matter to his healing. Jesus forgives and heals the man because his friends have faith; and out of love for him, they ask that he be healed. Thus, we are shown the power of intercessory prayer and the need for God's faithful priests to be intercessors. 

As a faithful priest, do you intercede for those in need? When we are baptized into the Body of Christ, we are made priests, prophets, and kings to serve one another in love so that God's love in us might be made perfect. Only a tiny percentage of God's priests are ordained as servant-leaders. The overwhelming majority of Catholics serve God and His people through their baptism as members of the Body. As baptized priests, you share in the ministry of the ordained priesthood by mediating, sacrificing, and interceding. You mediate God's presence as a living sign of His love and mercy. You sacrifice yourself so that you might grow in holiness. And you intercede for those in need. The special ministry of the baptized priest is exercised not in what you do but in where you do it: in the world, wherever you find yourself at any given moment. You are an intercessor at Wal-Mart, at home, at work, in your car. Those faithful souls in the crowd lift the paralyzed man onto his stretcher and carry him to Christ, confident that the Lord will forgive him his sins and bring him to wholeness. They offer his sins to Christ in sacrifice, and Christ makes him holy. It is because they believe and trust in the authority given to Christ that the man is restored. 

So, how do you go about interceding for others? Is there a formula or a liturgy for interceding? Yes and no. Yes, there is a formula and a liturgy for intercession. We call it “the Mass.” We even have a rite within the Mass called “the Intercessions,” or the “Prayer of the Faithful.” This is your chance to turn your full, conscious, and active attention to those in need and to bring them into the sacramental presence of Christ for his forgiveness and healing. So, yes, there is a formula and a liturgy for intercession. And, no, there isn't. Anytime, anywhere you lift up a broken soul—using any words that move you—anytime, anywhere you offer in sacrifice the hurt, the despair, the wounds of another, you mediate (stand between) that person and God, interceding on their behalf as a priest of God. By offering them up, both you and the one you offer grow in holiness and God's love is made just that much more perfect in you. You are—we all are—members of One Body, the Church, and we all share in the intercessory priesthood of Christ. Your priesthood is strengthened here, and tested, tempered out there in the world when you intercede for those in need. Therefore, make your faith into a steel blade and keep it sharp on the whetstone of prayer.
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04 July 2012

"We hold these truths. . ." (Updated)

A concise commentary on the Declaration of Independence. . .this well-worth the 10 mins or so it will take to read.  Excellent information and explication.

Excerpt:

What are “unalienable,” or more commonly, “inalienable rights”?  Inalienable rights are those you cannot give up even if you want to and consent.  Unlike other alienable rights that you can consent to transfer or waive.  Why inalienable rights?  The Founders want to counter England’s claim that by accepting the colonial governance, the colonists had alienated their rights.  The Framers claimed that with inalienable rights, you always retain the ability to take back any right that has been given up.

Read the whole thing.

UPDATE:  This is why the internet was invented:  The Declaration of Independence, Fixed.
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Solution to all of our problems. . .

Making the rounds on the intertubes this morning. . .



Hee-lar-ious!
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Freedom from, freedom to. . .

NB.  I always get the Mass readings from the USCCB website. . .they didn't have the readings for today's votive Mass on the site, so I didn't know that there were any votive readings!  It's the bishops' fault!

13 Week OT (W)
Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP
St. Dominic Church, NOLA

Two hundred and thirty-six years ago today, the Founders of our republic signed the Declaration of Independence, in which they invoke the “Laws of Nature and Nature's God,” “their Creator,” “the Supreme Judge of the world,” and “Divine Providence” in order to separate the British colonies of America from the rule of Britain's king, and to declare themselves a people thus freed from tyranny. Having declared that God created man with “certain unalienable Rights,” including “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,” the signers catalogue the King's offenses against these natural rights, dissolve all political connections with Crown, and proclaim the colonies “Free and Independent States.” From this moment, the United States began as an civic experiment: a constitutional republic guided by a definition of freedom forged and tempered in 18th century Europe. To be free in America and to be free in Christ are not the same sort of freedom. However, the best possible way to be free in Christ is to be free in America. As Americans, we are “free from” any number of tyrannical restraints. As Christians, we are “free to” follow Christ along his path to holiness. 

The signers of the Declaration of Independence declared the colonies “free from” unjust laws, burdensome taxes, foreign military interventions, and the arbitrary will of a king so that the citizens of the colonies might be “free to” pursue the life, the liberties, and the happiness granted to them by their Creator. As a fundamental document of the American revolution, the Declaration continues to teach us what it means to be free citizens of a free nation. However, the rousing patriotic rhetoric of a political document cannot free a single human soul from the chains of sin. Take, for example, the gospel reading this morning. Matthew tells us that two demon possessed individuals haunted a cemetery, and that they “were so savage that no one could travel by that road.” The way was blocked by the Enemy, the adversary of freedom through Christ. No edict of the king, or imperial warrant from Rome would clear the way for travelers. Jesus removes the demons, freeing those souls from the burden of sin. The way is cleared by Christ so that we are free to follow him. And we are at our freest when we follow him in the pursuit of holiness. We are freest when we pursue that state of perfection in Christ that we were created to achieve. 

In the past few months we have heard a great deal about religious freedom, the right to practice our religion, and the continuing efforts of our government to restrict or abolish these rights and freedoms. You might think that this is a demonic plot against the Church, or a convenient political ploy to get votes, or a necessary limit on the exercise of citizens' rights. Whatever it truly is is ultimately irrelevant to the truth of the Gospel. If our political freedoms can be restricted by edict, our freedom in Christ can never be. If our rights as citizens can be violated by judicial fiat, our natural rights as children of God can never be. We are freed by Christ from the slavery to sin so that we might follow after him. And we can follow after him from home, from school, from church, from jail, or from the hospital. We can pursue holiness in the freedom of Christ despite the laws of men, despite the politicians, and despite the bureaucratic red-tape. Both our rights as citizens and our freedoms as men and women of Christ are unalienable, inseparable from who we are as creatures of a loving God. As Americans, today, we celebrate our “freedom from” secular tyranny. As Christians, always, we celebrate the “freedom to” live and preach the Good News of Christ Jesus! 

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03 July 2012

Anniversary

Eight years ago today, four Dominican students were ordained deacons and three Dominican deacons were ordained priests at Blackfriars Hall, Oxford by Bishop Malcolm Mahon, OP.  I was one of those Dominican students to be made a deacon.

Our ordinations brought to conclusion the best year of my Dominican life to date:  study, prayer, and community among the Oxford friars of the English Province!

My one regret about leaving Rome:  I won't be able to spend my annual two months lazing about Blackfriars in the fall.  Sigh.
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02 July 2012

Ask the Friar

Ive been teaching classes for the archdiocese's catechists' certification program these past two weeks.  

We're taking this week off for July 4th celebrations.

So. . .this is a good week to Ask the Friar Questions!

Go for it. . .

P.S.  Ask them soon b/c the Master of the Order is visiting the priory on Friday. . .
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An urgent message, patiently delivered

13th Week OT (M)
Fr. Philip Neri Powell, OP
St. Dominic Church, NOLA

When faced with the anxious problems of our panicky Western culture, the Church often seems less than eager to offer immediate solutions. While westerners run around like demented squirrels hopped up on triple shot espressos—causing chaos for themselves and the rest of the world—the Church plods along like a sleepy grandpa turtle, waiting for the rest of us to drop from exhaustion and hoping that the alleged crisis will pass. More often than not, that exactly what happens. Sleepy Grandpa Turtle smiles and continues along at his leisurely pace. Why does the Church seem so untroubled by the trendy pandemonium that we in the West feel is about to overwhelm us? Notice what Jesus does when the crowds threaten to overwhelm him: he flees across the sea. You can hear him saying to the disciples, “Aight, boys. Just get in the boat and row.” When a scribe—sounding a little desperate—says, “I'll follow you wherever you go,” Jesus gives us a hint about why his Church seems immune to cultural panic. He says, “. . .the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head.” The Body of Christ, the Church, exists everywhere and everywhen. There's no hurry in eternity. 

Just after Jesus orders his disciples across the sea, a scribe and a disciple proclaim an urgent need to stay with the Master. Jesus tells the scribe that the Son of Man has no place to rest. When the disciple asks Jesus to wait for him to bury his dead, Jesus says—rather enigmatically—“Let the dead bury the dead.” The scribe is declaring his desire to follow Christ regardless of his destination. The disciple wants Jesus to linger a bit longer so he can run off and to perform his familial duties. Two different responses to Jesus' order to depart and two different answers from Jesus. Both men want to stay with the Master, but neither seem to understand anything that Jesus has taught them. Had the scribe understood Jesus, he would know that the Son of Man is present wherever two or more gather in his name. Had the disciple understood Jesus, he would know that the Son of Man is present whenever anyone heeds his invitation to “follow me.” Proclaiming the Good News is both an urgent task and a patient process. We are given an imperative to complete and then told to persevere. The world's salvation is an emergency, and the Church's mature response to this crisis is diligence. 

What does all this mean for us, the Boots on the Ground? Unsurprisingly, it means that our most potent tools in building up the Church are faith and obedience—absolute trust in God's promises and hearts and minds radically attuned to His will. If we fall in with the world, we too become over-caffeinated squirrels scurrying around like we're being chased by terriers. Panic is not a form of Christian witness. On the other hand, we can't just sit back on the world's veranda, sipping Mint Juleps and watching creation go to hell. Laziness and indifference aren't good witnesses either. So, we follow Christ wherever he goes, and we “let the dead bury the dead.” In other words, we diligently plod along, spreading the truth of the Gospel despite the demands of the world, despite the frenzied squirrely scrambling-around that the crowds seem to love. Our eyes are squarely focused on eternity, the long-game. Christ is always with us—everywhere, every-when. And because he is always with us, we are urgently compelled to preach his Good News and, at the same time, diligently, patiently wait for the seeds we plant at his command to germinate, sprout, and blossom. There is no hurry in eternity. But for now, we've got an urgent message for the world. 

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01 July 2012

No Sunday Homily, Father?

This is the deacons' weekend to preach. . .so, no homily from yours truly!
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