18 April 2012

Wednesday Fat Report: "Ponderis me, Domine!"

The new scales have been properly installed. . .blessed, sprinkled, incensed, and decorated with flowers.

Stepping up and waiting the appropriate amount of time, I read:  320lbs.  Good enough.

And so. . .it begins. . .again.

A Prayer Before Weighing Oneself (Ponderis me, Domine!)

Weigh me, O Lord;
in your kindness,
burn away my excessive fat;
blot out all my cellulite,
and bring me to my perfect waist size.

Amen.
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4 comments:

  1. Is there a certain prayer for priests stepping on a scale, like the vesting prayers?

    :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Marcus, yes, it's called the "Ponderis me, Domine."

    Weigh me, O Lord;
    in your kindness,
    burn away my fat;
    blot out all my cellulite,
    and bring to my perfect waist size.

    Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I was ROFL myself silly until I read your response.

    Really? No I mean, really???

    ReplyDelete
  4. All you need to do now is name them.

    Great prayer. I'm taping it on the bathroom mirror above Eustachius (my scale). So you see, I'm fightin' the fight right along with you!

    ReplyDelete